Thrift Store Lessons

Yesterday, I wanted to go thrifting, so after work I drove over to our local Volunteers of America (because it's bigger, cleaner, better organized, and less smelly than Goodwill.) When I stopped at the stop light where I needed to turn, there was a creepy clown outside, holding a sign that said "Volunteers of America 50% Off." The parking lot was the fullest I've ever seen it, but when I was in there, there was a sign up about one color tag being 50% off and another be 75% off. So I wanted to make sure the clown had not mislead me into believing everything was 50% off, which resulted in having the following conversation with the nice lady running the checkout.

Me: Is everything 50% off?

Lady (emphatically): NO. We do this every last Tuesday. When you flip your calendar over, find the last Tuesday and mark on it Volunteers of America 50% Off Day.

Me: ... So, everything is 50% off today.

Lady (like it's obvious): Yes. And every other day this month anything with these colored tags is on sale. If it has a grey tag, tomorrow it will be 50% off and if it has a red tag it will be 75% off. That way there is always something on sale.

Me: Is there a way to know what things have which color tags?

Lady (like I don't know what colors are): It's the color of the tag. See? This one is grey.

Me: Well yeah, but I mean, is there some way to know what clothes will have which color tags? Like if I wanted to look for things with red tags, do they mean something?

Lady (like speaking to someone who doesn't speak English): It means it's 75% off. That's what the colors mean.

Me: ... Okay. ::gives up because she's finished ringing me out and there's a line behind me::

Perhaps I was unclear in asking if there was a code for the color of the tags, like grey tags are sweaters and red tags are high-waisted polyester grandma pants. But the moral of the story is: Volunteers of America has a 50% off everything day on the last Tuesday of every month. I bought six pieces of clothing for under six dollars. I call that winning. And of course, I brought back some photographic souvenirs. Enjoy.

Seven of the same ugly wig.

Haunting frog statue, circa the early 90's pastel era.

Portrait of the matador as a young man.

I did the modern version of 'flipping my calendar and finding the last Tuesday' so there's now a monthly reminder in my cellphone about the VOA sale.  I might have to go back sooner though, just to buy that painting so I can cross my sister-in-law off my Christmas shopping list.